help

help ease this pain god... i feel empty and so alone. u say u wont give me any burdens i cant handle... i cried out to u every night on my knees, i tried so hard to lead as u called me to.. why couldnt u just bless us why couldnt it have been 50/50? only you knew how many tears have dropped or all the  hurt/pain i went thru. i got so attached i became so reliant on her, now i have nobody to talk to. i know ur a jealous god, i know i put her above u alot of times...i know you give and take away.. but this is so painful.. i need something to happen god.. Im growing weary and i dnt know what to do anymore or how to deal with this hurt in this bitter state. Forgive me for being bitter towards u, please change my heart before it gets hard as stone... im worried for myself.  make me content and satisfied with u and u alone.